January 2010
29 posts
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Day 26: Mass Affection
Quite a few people this week have asked me about Mass Effect 2, and whether or not it was worth getting. Problem is, it’s a really complicated answer - which is why I haven’t replied to any of you. Sorry. The thing is, there’s clearly only one type of person who’d ask if Mass Effect 2 is worth getting - and that’s someone who hasn’t played Mass Effect. If...
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Day 25: Coke o' Poppers
I can’t stop looking at this advert. There’s nothing remarkable about it in the slightest - in fact, upon closer inspection the only real emotion I can attach to it is that i’ve taken a mild disliking to the art style they’ve used on his hat - an extremely unremarkable opinion in itself. But it’s not the design that’s found me fixated by this poster - which...
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Day 24: Cheer up you bastards
I’ve had a love/hate relationship with psychology for years - I’ll no doubt go into the hate one day - but what always amazes me the most is how frequently in the field you’ll see years of scientific research discoving something that’s been happily accepted as common sense for years. I think it’s a testamant to how unknowingly brilliant we all are as a species; you...
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Day 23: GREGGS SIGN DEAL GROUNDBREAKING DEAL WITH...
Honestly: I was just as confused as you are. Oh, and sadly the headline isn’t true. Or if it is, to my knowledge it’s not something that’s been openly disclosed into the public domain. What you’re looking at is the promotional material for what must literally be the most misleading application available on the iPhone: Tasty Pasties. Beg my pardon for asking - but...
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Day 22: Haitus
Today I’ve something to say about Haiti. You might not like it, but i’m pretty sure it’s all entirely true. What’s happened is undeniably tragic; a country with very little economic stability has been hit by a pretty fucking nasty natural disaster - and without any kind of decent building regulations set in place, the structures they’d built frankly didn’t stand...
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Day 21: Cake Review
Based on a light and moist chocolate foundation, the icing is swirled roughly across the crown of the proud sponge; decorated generously with a shimmer of edible pink and a clutch of stars. The deliciously rich icing is sweet yet subtle, leaving room for tingling tones of cocoa hidden beneath. Encased in a cheerful cherry-red jacket: Disrobed, observed, devoured. Good cake. 10/10 Based on cake...
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Day 20: Ungrateful Bastard
Both endearing and lazy in equal measure, for the past 3 or so years my brother has bought all of his presents for me from Firebox. I’m very fond of the large collection of cool junk I’ve collected from this over the years, but sometimes it’s difficult to find the space to store it all - last year’s birthday present in particular is a bit of a nightmare, but as with the...
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Day 19: The Murder
When I was six years old, Boglins were officially the most brilliant thing in the universe. The full size ones with moving bits were always clearly out of my reach, but I was quite content with my collection of Mini-Boglins - which did include a special edition shiny gold one. I strongly recall having the desire to create a display case for them out of cardboard, although I can’t remember if...
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Day 18: MY SEX IS SO AMAZING
Last week I tweeted in despair of the fact that all urban R&B songs sound utterly identical, and that I seem to be spending a seriously unhealthy quantity of my life listening to it in the office. For the record I don’t regard myself as being a music snob, and I’m sure I’d find the genre much more enjoyable if listening to it didn’t make me lose all respect for myself...
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Day 17: A Cautionary Poem
Beware the Gherkin Two crimson lights watch without motion, their malice unseen, their menace untold. Watching and waiting for the moment to rise. One man could see. Kindly branded as fantasy, listeners smiled, charmed by this childish notion. But the twisting steel would one day squeal. Tumbling crumbs of masonry smashing to the ground, cruelly punctuating this undeniable truth; a truth forever...
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Day 16: CHAIRS FER DEGS
I noticed a comment on fellow one-a-day chap Sean Bell’s blog yesterday which didn’t quite fit in. It didn’t seem like spam, as it didn’t appear to be hawking anything - but at the same time it seemed like too clean a response to realistically appear after the article. Looking into the account further, it was clearly spam. But here’s the thing; it was spam that...
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Day 15.5: Top Tips Update
Just wanted to update you quickly on my entry from day 14: A guy I used to live with apparently managed to partially photograph the phenomenon, and in light of this sent me a photo of his favourite piece of Bounds Green fly-tipping, complete with annotation: “I like the way the artist clearly took their time in creating the composition, giving it an air not of abandonment, but almost of...
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Day 15: I was going to create a supergroup...
Mobile phone companies excel when it comes to whipping up advertising campaigns which consist solely of heart-warming dollops of absolute fluff. Rhetorical questions and inspirobollocks collectively hell-bent on informing us that we’re not using our mobile phones properly. It’s not meant for making phone calls, silly, it’s an inspirational device for reaching out to touch the...
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Day 14: Top Tips
On the way to work this morning, I walked past a television that had been abandoned on the street - somewhat amusingly - outside a police station in Camden. I then stopped, and walked back to take a photo. I’ll always regret not doing this sooner. When I first moved to London I stayed in a lovely little house in a place called Bounds Green, in North London. It was a pretty dull residential...
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Day 13: The Time on Sunday
I’ve become wonderfully accustomed to lazy Sundays of late - once you get into the right mindset (i.e. I am going to relish doing absolutely nothing of worth) they’re pretty magic. I can take the time to soak up the details of the day, free from the intense feeling of agenda that buzzes around my head almost constantly. Distraction becomes a foreign concept. Cups of tea become...
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Day 12: Alakazam!
After being kindly bullied by my colleague Rami, I’ve amazingly managed to get my shit together and join the gym - something I’ve been saying I’d do for about a year. I’ve even managed to go twice in two days, and my body now feels like i’ve been failing to learn to surf on a tidal wave of toffee hammers. If you’ve been following my earlier thoughts, you might...
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Day 11: The first of many drunken oneadaysssss
I was planning on writing this later tonight, after I’d finished drinking. Actually, to be fair - I was planning on writing this while I was sober. But sadly, there are only so many hours in the day, and on days of the fri variety it’s essential that some of these are spent drinking. As such, I’m blogging to you LIVE from the kitchen, whilst I drink into the night with some...
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Day 11: Kill a Horse
Over the past few years I’ve actively noticed the fact that I use odd little phrases I’ve picked up from my parents all the time. I’m sure I’ve been doing this for years, but I’ve only really clocked it in the past year. It’s not an unusual trait by any means: what do you call the TV remote in your house? Obviously, I call the TV remote ‘The...
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Day 10: Bayonetta
This week I’ve been playing a game called Bayonetta. Quick synopsis: It’s bonkers. It’s also frightfully well made, deeply challenging, and shamefully childish. But before all these things, it’s a just a bit bloody mental. I’m aware that not everyone who reads this is an avid gamer, so i’ll do my best to keep it grounded. Apologies in advance if I spiral off...
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Day 9: Shoe Smack
Those of you who have affection for my lungs will no doubt be pleased to hear that I’m well on my way towards actually getting myself into the gym. I bought some suitable trainers (Cheers to Adam Richardson for tips) and a cute little duffel bag to put my things in. I’ve even filled in the vast collection of health forms to ensure the gym I don’t have epilepsy, asthma, a broken...
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Day 8: Two Hats
Sometimes I worry that I’m entertaining myself too efficiently. I’m constantly reminded of a backlog of seminal TV shows I’ve been recommended. I own a wide variety of critically acclaimed videogames, many unfinished - many still wrapped in cellophane. I’ve got Spotify in my pocket. In my fucking pocket. I’m continually trying to catch up on all of this, and I...
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Day 7: What did you get for Christmas?
Gladly welcoming a break from incessant British weather babble, we all love a bit of January small talk. Where were you for new years? What did you get for Christmas? But the second one - for the last 3 years at least - has always put me on the back foot. Why should it matter what I got for Christmas? I can’t see how that would make the day feel particularly special… There’s no...
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Day 6: Good Tramp / Bad Tramp
My iPhone died on the way back from the cinema last night, leaving me unable to barricade my mind with music whilst travelling through London. This never actually stops me listening to music of course, and if you did pass a man in a red coat singing to himself in Angel last night: Hello! When getting onto the tube however, I was delighted to hear the almost whispered tones of some rather wonderful...
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Day 5: The post where I start adding titles
Today my inspiration is derived from the first #oneaday post by Andy Johnson - whose musings on the whole insane affair brought a little clarity to a train of thought my mind’s been fixated with for the past few days. I’m only on day 4, but already being able to write about anything, and yet having to write something once every day has been interesting in ways I’d not foreseen....
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Day 4
I want to join the gym at some point in the next week. Word on the street is, flailing your arms around a bit is a pretty effective way of staving off the overwhelming desire to either curl up under a duvet indefinitely or destroy the world with a hammer (3 days sans-nicotine, people - I promise I’ll cheer up soon). It’ll only cost me about £15 a month, and there’s a gym...
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Day 3
Exactly a month ago today, I gave up smoking. Considering my proven track record of failure however, this time I decided to get a little help in the form of patches. Honestly, they’ve been amazing. People have been congratulating me for the past month or so, but I can’t honestly say I’ve felt like it’s been deserved - if anything I’ve been pumping more nicotine into...
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Day 2
Last night I spent the evening trying to fix the somewhat lacklustre Internet Virgin Media kindly spunked through my letterbox last month. In the past I’ve been somewhat of a technical genius when it comes to plugging cables into things, but it seems I’ve met my match. Hunched sideways on the floor of the drafty hallway where our router resides left me feeling like a bonsai kitten,...
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Day 1
Hello there! I’ve been inspired by a couple of people from the internet (primarily Mr Andy Kelly) to take on a new challenge for 2010: creating a blog on which i’ll be writing something new on every day until I ineviatably forget/give up. I’ll do my best to not just fill it with blabber about games i’ve been playing and things i’ve seen on the bus, but at the end of...